I love you! Now what??

13 Jul

I remember the first time I fell in love. I was in high school and 15 years old. His name was Ronald Allen and I thought he was the love of my life. He fit all of my requirements: he was cute, tall, lived in the neighborhood and was willing to cut class all day with me. His parents gave him an allowance and he always bought me candy and 25 cent chips. Basic high school stuff. Plus he was funny as shit (like Martin Lawrence funny).

Back in those days, love was simple. Requirements were minimal and responsibilities were null. Back in those days I was still reading Harlequin romances novels and Sweet Valley High books. I though that love arrived on a white horse and hand delivered you to the perfect house with the white picket fence. Back in those days I thought once you uttered the words “I love you” that all would be right in the world. I sincerely thought the work was getting the other person to fall in love. Back in the day, I didn’t know shit.

Love is so black and white when you’re young. You’re either in love or you aren’t. But as we grow and evolve so do our expectations and requirements. Love becomes less black and white and develops a lot of gray area. When you’re older the work in relationships isn’t getting to the “I love you” part. Quite the contrary: Relationships don’t really begin until after I love you.  

A lot of people are in love with the idea of falling in love. You’re never higher than your first kiss, your first date or making love for the first time. The nervousness and anxiety you feel when you say I love you first and hope and pray the other person is looking through those same rose tinged glasses and is brave enough to say it back.

The bible says love is patient; love is kind, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. But what happens when love loses its temper? What about when love gets tired of fighting the good fight and doesn’t want to be bothered? What about when love has to endure a recession, loses a job, loses a house, loses a child, can’t bare a child, has to take care of an ailing in-law, etc, etc. What happen when loves becomes a burden? Will love still make you high?

So what DOES happen after I love you? Does your love weather the storms or get swept away in the tide? Love was definitely easier when I was younger and before my life was blemished with….lets say life’s challenges. But it has also never been so fulfilling. Awaking in the trenches in full combat gear and looking at someone with the same dazed and confused look as you with their army green on. Looking at that person, long after the first and second high has worn off but knowing that you’re not battling life alone. After I say I love you, I am fully prepared for the fight.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

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2 Responses to “I love you! Now what??”

  1. Sucker For Love July 14, 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    Your insight about love is very illuminating, and shows a great deal of introspection. I hope that love loves you back.

  2. nualapthatsme December 31, 2009 at 4:55 pm #

    love must be unconditional

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