Writing isn’t Right…Right Now…

22 Jan

ImageThere are two instances when I find myself unable to write. When I’m sleep and when I’m too pissed to trust anything I am able to put down on paper. Those are typically the times when I walk away from the computer or phone after typing and backspacing until blisters appear on my fingers. At my angriest I am sure my vents and writings may be amusing to most, but that target of such venom would likely never forget it. As much as I would like to sometimes, I can’t find the strength to say anything that can’t be unsaid. Or maybe it’s the strength that keeps me from saying such things.

I have to admit; I sometimes envy people who claim to have no filter and are able to “tell it like it is”. How long did it take you to believe that bullshit? To believe that is actually a GOOD thing? To be able to say anything to anyone just because you felt like it had to be said? Is that like a circus trick or something because if it is, I’d like to sign up for lessons.

Words like actions come with responsibilities. To not have the burden of responsibility with your words. To feel that the slightest provocation is justification for a tongue lashing and/or breaking a person down so they will forever be broken is not acceptable. No matter how good it feels. How do you tell someone “they aren’t shit, ain’t gonna be shit and never was shit” (I’m paraphrasing) and still find a way to sleep at night? 

I’m a writer and as honest and mean as some people claim to be I’m 100 times more creative. What does this mean? I can probably top anything another person thought about saying from creativity alone. That’s why sometimes, I just shut the fuck up.

Okay, so I’m ranting because I can’t say what I want to say. Maybe this blog should have been anonymous. But then I couldn’t share my awesomeness with my friends and family and that would totally suck. 🙂

There is a old saying that says, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well if that is the case, I believe that words are the keys to the heart. So I should probably step away from this weapon (keyboard) before someone gets hurt. 

Lesson: Self-restraint is a strength, not a weakness.

With love and restraint,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous

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