Murder & Mayhem..

30 Jan

My daughter was murdered yesterday. She was gunned down after school. Shot  down like an animal in the street before she could even reach the prime of her life. See, my daughter was only 15 years old and 15 is not the prime of anybodies life. In the prime of your life you’re partying with your friends and creating secrets that you and your best friend will take to your grave at the ripe old age of 90. In the prime of your life you are exploring life through child like eyes for the second and last time of your life (the first being when you are a toddler). In the prime of your life you’re graduating from college and moving into your own apartment alone for the first time in your life. In the prime of your life you’re figuring out that no curfew means setting your alarm clock so last nights party doesn’t mean sneaking in the office so your boss doesn’t know you’re late because of last nights party. In the prime of your life you learn how to gracefully do the walk of shame and eventually figure out that you can’t get away with doing it often. In the prime of your life you realize how good you had it at 15 and how you wish you could go home to your mamas house and your daddy’s rules and just be a kid for a couple days to escape the reality of living in the prime of your life. I’m sorry but 15 is nobodies prime.

My daughter was murdered yesterday. I bet you didn’t know I had a daughter. I bet you didn’t know you had one either, but you did. When the school strike was going on in Chicago I heard a lot of jibber, jabber about how it’s not the teachers job but the job of the parents. “I raise my kids” sounds a lot like “that’s not my problem”. I guess because you take your kid to school everyday and have them transported home safely or to some after school program daily that you are absolved from worrying. I guess because you live in a nice neighborhood and your kid goes to the safest school you can find that you’re out of the reach of the inner city nightmares that haunts the streets day and night. But guess who your kid goes to school with? Guess who your kid walks the halls with? Guess who your kid cuts class with to enjoy an unseasonably warm Chicago afternoon. You guessed it. The kid that you didn’t raise that just wasn’t your problem. Well he became your problem when he murdered your daughter. Our daughter.

My daughter was murdered yesterday. I guess we’ll blame the government, guns and drug dealers because the “system” was set up so we wouldn’t succeed so it really isn’t our fault. No way are we to blame for the murder of our children on our watch in our street. No way are we to blame even though we sit by quietly as our young friends have MULTIPLE babies by MULTIPLE men they don’t know, who they can’t afford with nothing to offer. We’re being a good friend by saying nothing. Let’s just call them up and invite them to the club to help them get their minds off their problems at home. We’re being a good friend by remaining quiet. I mean, she did wait until they were sleep before she left. No way are we to blame when we dap up our boy who pulls the baddest bitch and drives the hottest cars but hasn’t seen his CHILDREN in 12 months. It’s not his fault he has baby mama drama and after all you  just want to hoop. It’s not your place to tell him how to spend his money because you know given the opportunity he would take care of his kids. You’re right. You’re a great friend and no silence isn’t concession.

But guess what? My daughter was still murdered yesterday. I thought I raised her to keep this kind of thing from happening. When she learned to talk I told her the word no and that no one could touch her there. When she started school I taught her about stranger danger. Don’t yell help, yell fire because no one comes running to the aid of anyone yelling help in this wicked city. When she started junior high I told her that no matter what boys say she was to keep the “cookies in the cookie jar”. You’re special, I told her. And a MAN not a boy needs to know he has to work for your cookies. I taught her about drugs, gangs and every other horror I could think that she needed to be protected from . But what I didn’t tell her was that the biggest monster is one with the concrete streets and sky scrapers. The one with the cold winters and hot summers. The one that hides its problems from tourist like people hide their junky uncle from company during the holidays. I didn’t tell her that it wasn’t the man in the van I was most scared of but the city I’ve grown to love and fear. How was I going to teach her to protect herself from my city, Chicago? Shit! I still hadn’t figured out how to protect myself. But now I don’t have to. My daughter was shot and killed across from one of Chicago’s finest schools. She was shot and killed less than a mile from the President’s Chicago residence.

My daughter was murdered yesterday and this morning I had to tell my son that his sister was killed. He didn’t know he had a sister but I explained to him why he did. Why are you crying he asked? Did you know her? No baby I didn’t know her, I said. But as I looked at him I saw her. Same age, same innocent face, same upbringing, same kind of neighborhood. And now I’m sitting with the same fear. The fear that doesn’t allow my son to walk our dog, even in the day time because I’m afraid that if  he walks out that door he make not make it back. The same fear that has had me taking him to and from school since preschool. The same fear that won’t allow him to ride the bus in the city. The same fear that shelters him even when I know it’s hindering his growth. I sat quietly for a minute as tears rolled down my face. This young girl was someones daughter. And this morning as I drove my son to school my heart bleed knowing a mother like me is somewhere  laying in bed, writhing in pain because their would be no more car rides to school. There would be no more birthdays. There would be no more fights for control and obedience. There would be no more teen angst. There is a mother somewhere who no longer fears because her daughter……..*tears*

Our daughter was murdered yesterday. She was all of our daughter. Yours and mine. I don’t have a plan but you can count me in for whomever does have one. Every generation has a leader. It’s time we had one. Where is our Martin Luther King, Jr.? Our Rosa Parks? Our Malcolm X? Our Harriet Tubman? I’m waiting and so are our sons and daughters.

My daughter was murdered yesterday. What the hell are we going to do about.

Tears, fears, and hurt,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous

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27 Responses to “Murder & Mayhem..”

  1. Tanya January 30, 2013 at 11:13 am #

    This was very well written. I’m with you, I don’t have the answer, but I’m willing to ride with whoever does.

  2. nina January 30, 2013 at 11:23 am #

    This is a wonderful Article!!!! May God Bless and Heal the Family.

  3. Kim Smith January 30, 2013 at 12:59 pm #

    This was AMAZING!!! Yes, we must start thinking of these young victims as all “OUR” Daughters and Sons….Thank YOU for writing this!

    • thehittlist January 30, 2013 at 1:02 pm #

      Thank you Kim for reading and commenting. I hope you take the time to share. It’s time these thugs and “lost souls” know that we are ready to take our city back and RECLAIM our youth. This stops here and today and it stops with us! God Speed!

  4. Rev. Mystro January 30, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

    Excellent. Will be using quoting this with your permission, from the pulpit to bible study. Excellent.

    • thehittlist January 30, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

      Please do. I pray it find the ears and hearts of those that need it most!

  5. raprice2012 January 30, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

    Most people wont even take the time out to read this. this is powerful and all women need to read this with their children.

    • Theresa Browne January 30, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

      From a mother, sister, aunt, grandmother I feel your pain. I pray that one day our young people understand that killing won’t solve their problems. May God be with you and your families.

  6. PJAX January 30, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

    All I can say is wow.so perfectly put together it sent chills threw my body.Once again my condolenses.

  7. trish January 30, 2013 at 4:12 pm #

    SO SAD THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS ARTICLE, YOU CAN RAISE YOUR KIDS TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY BUT WHEN THAT CHILD STEP OUT YOUR DOOR IT IS UP TO HIM OR HER TO TAKE THE RIGHT PATH AND A MAJORITY OF THESE KIDS ARE TAKING THE WRONG PATH WALKING AROUND WITH GUNS ON THEM JUST LOOKING FOR A REASON TO FIRE IT, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO USING YOUR FIST NO THAT’S TO EASY THEY USE GUNS CAUSE THEY THINK IT MAKES THEM TOUGH, OK NOW THOSE STEEL BARS ARE BEING SLAMMED IN THEIR FACE NOW ARE YOU TOUGH? HELL NO THEY SCARED AS HELL CAUSE THEY NO THERE’S NO GOING BACK, NOW YOU HAVE TO FACE THE BIG DOGS AND THEIR ASSES ARE NOT TOUGH NO MORE, BUT WISH THEY WASN’T THERE, YEAH! AND THE LIFE YOU TOOK WISH THEY WERE STILL HERE THESE SENSELESS MURDERS HAVE TO STOP!! DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD IS SOME MOTHERS DON’T EVEN CHECK THEIR CHILDS ROOM CAUSE THEY SAY IT’S A INVASION OF PRIVACY, BULLSHIT THEY DON’T PAY NO BILLS I CHECK MY CHILDS ROOM, I OPEN HIS MAIL, I DO ANYTHING I WANT PERTAINING TO HIM WHEN HE CAN PAY A BILL IN MY HOUSE THEN IT CHANGES BUT NOT BY MUCH, I’M STILL THE MOTHER AND YOU ARE MY CHILD REGARDLESS OF YOUR AGE CHICAGO HAS A HIGH CRIME RATE I MOVED FROM THERE TO KEEP MY SON SAFE, MY CONDOLENCES GOES OUT TO THE YOUNG GIRLS FAMILY AND I HOPE THEY LOOK TO GOD FOR SPIRITUAL SUPPORT IN THEIR SORROW, THANK YOU AGAIN MISTRESS OF ALL THINGS FABULOUS FOR YOUR INPUT.

  8. Dawn Danielle January 30, 2013 at 6:03 pm #

    This was just emailed to me…We Thank You for this.

    • thehittlist January 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm #

      I thank you for reading this. ❤

  9. Ashieka January 30, 2013 at 6:31 pm #

    Thanks and posting! I agree and am READY AND WILL to do what it take in Jesus name to bring attention, awareness and peace to our city. A post this morning from my fb page My heart is truly heavy today. Yesterday my son came home and mumbled some words to me. I didn’t know what he had said. He just began to hug me and cry. “They didn’t do nothing. They were good kids. She never hurt nobody, nobody. She died. Ma she died. ” and he continued to cry. I didn’t know what was going on and could barely make out what he was saying. Who died? I asked. “Hadiya. They shot her in the back”. I instantly began to feel this burden my son was dealing with. His pain caused me to look into a situation with different eyes. This young lady was only 15 years old. This beautiful young lady was walking home less than 2-3 blocks from school with other friends. She was only a sophomore in high school. A life cut short for senseless acts of violence. Lord have mercy.
    Father in the name of Jesus we come to your throne room boldly this morning asking to be with the family of Hadiya. The your presence be present in their homes. We ask for your spirit to comfort them during this tragic loss. Father be with the children of King high school this morning. Give them and the teacher and faculty strength. We ask that your put a hedge of protection around that school. Disperse your angels in that community. Lord we ask that you wake up this generation from this life of death, drugs and sin. Let them arise with a Holy passion to see things changed. Use the youth of this generation to not stand for nor tolerate these acts of violence. Show they what they can do to be effective in this world for you. Lord let them walk in the bold of who they are in you and not fear. Let the same spirit that was upon David when he went to kill Goliath be upon these youth. Let them be effective with their spiritual weapons of prayer to totally destroy every giant that they face individually and corporately. Lord we ask that your raise up those who would be the voice to this generation. To speak life over them. To speak truth to them. To equip them Godly wisdom, knowledge and understand that during these evil days they may stand and not fall. IN JESUS NAME. SO BE IT!

    • thehittlist January 30, 2013 at 6:44 pm #

      Ashieka I stand in AGREEMENT with you! SO BE IT! SO BE IT. Thank you for posting such a beautifully, well-timed prayer.

  10. DeniseHh January 30, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    That’s something to think about.real hard God will heal your pain.

  11. Karen Nkechi Colbert January 30, 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    Awesome article.
    We have to remember that the Martin Luther King, Jr.s, Rosa Parks’, Malcolm X’, and Harriet Tubman’ were not extraordinary people. They were ordinary people, doing extraordinary things. WE must become the change that needs to be and when we do not do anything, nothing happens…and everything gets worse.

    Men- if there are young boys on your block (7-12yrs), talk to them, organize small outings or just have a mtg with them weekly and let them talk, then “guide them”.

    Women- if there are young girls on your block do the same. If there are clubs/orgs in your neighborhood then volunteer (men and women). I know we have our own kids, lives etc. but so did past leaders and THEY MADE IT HAPPEN.

    People keep calling for more police and, in Chicago, there is a shortage, but there could be 50,000 cops on the force and it would not stop the violence. More police could eventually lead to an “occupied” state in our communities. It will not solve the problem–only we can do that. Starting with the very young ones.”

    I challenge every one of us for at least the next 30 days to do something EVERYDAY to change things.

    • TheHittList January 30, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

      Agreed and agreed! I’m down with the challenge! 30 days of action!

  12. DeniseHh January 30, 2013 at 8:05 pm #

    That’s something to think about.real hard God will heal your pain.God bless us all.

  13. M. Morgan January 31, 2013 at 7:25 am #

    Thank you for posting this and thank you to whoever put in a space that I was able to read it. All of the comments speak to the many many feelings I am having over the loss of this beautiful child. For those of us who believe in a God of mercy, love, and peace, we pray for this family, her schoolmates, and the staff at the school that He embrace them, comfort and keep them as they face this most horrific circumstance.

  14. Toni Williams January 31, 2013 at 8:16 am #

    This was wonderful! We have to do something, but what. I wish I knew…But whoever has a plan I am rolling with them.

  15. DeBorah Ward January 31, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    I struggle amidst tears to respond to this blog today…..so so many tears. Tears for the family of the precious life that was lost….tears as I saw my own daughter’s face in the eyes of Hadiya’s image on the television screen…..tears for the mother who lost 4 children to violence in our city…..tears for the numerous unidentified youth that lay lifeless on a cold slab in the coroner’s office…..tears for the children that I encounter with increasing regularity with a stooped posture of hopelessness and vacant eyes of fear and despair……tears for my family having to create a new normal after losing one of our very own to violence in our streets. I appreciate Ashieka’s prayer. It is a powerful starting point and should be the cornerstone of our solution. I believe however that our prayers should reach our heels. I also agree with Karen that leaders are ordinary people who do extraordinary things. The violence that we are experiencing is a rapidly spreading cancer and has at its core-Sin. Gun control might minimize but remember, Cain slew Abel without a gun. There are fundamental character issues that must be addressed that as my daughter put it “what makes people want to pick up a gun in the first place….”

    I have a plan….a plan that was created in direct response to the agony that violence creates and addresses it at the root cause. I welcome your presence.
    Thank you Radiance for sending me this article.

    DeBorah Ward flytoexcellence@gmail.com

    “If my people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin
    and heal their land” 2nd Chronicles 7:14

  16. Ron Allen January 31, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    IF A COP GUNS DOWN A BLACK THUG, WE SPEAK ABOUT IT, IF A RACIST SHOOTS DOWN A BLACK YOUTH WE SPEAK ABOUT IT. BUT WHEN THERE’S BLACK YOUTH KILLING BLACK YOUTHS WE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. WHERE ARE ALL THESE BLACK COMMUNITIES LEADERS, BLACK LEADERS SERVING IN OUR GOVERNMENT DOING, OR EVEN SPEAKING OUT ABOUT THIS MADNESS, WHERE ARE THEY? OR DO THEY NOT GIVE A DAMN, OR CARE THAT THIS IS GOING ON ALL ACROSS THE UNITED STATES. DO THEY REALLY CARE? AND IF SO WHY IS THERE NOT ONE,…NOT ONE SPEAKING ABOUT THIS SICKNESS GOING ON IN OUR BLACK COMMUNITIES???….WHERE ARE THEY???

    • From Southside boy to Man of Morehouse January 31, 2013 at 4:53 pm #

      @Ron Never mind where they are…where are YOU? Where are WE? Rather than waiting for someone else to speak on and solve our problems, we need to call to action our own army of people dedicated to making the necessary changes in our community. Rally no more. Enough petitions. To hell with commenting on the problem then doing nothing. We need ACTION. We need a SOLUTION, and the solution is not waiting for figure-heads to show their face and give another Kumbaya speech about how tragic these murders are.

      First, we need to demand a stronger police presence on the Southside. It is their job to serve and protect, and as taxpayers it is our responsibility to see to it that our money is being put to good use. Also, we need to get this broken school system in order so they have the opportunity to do more and be better. In addition to the school system, we need to fund and support these after school programs that keep children engaged and off the streets. The bigger issue, though, is we need Black businesses in our communities, so these young brothers have somewhere to work and make money besides the streets. From my own personal experience, many join gangs for the family aspect and to feel loved and cared for. Something is wrong with this picture. Why is it that our young brothers and sisters feel like that have to join a malicious group of violent and merciless lost souls to feel loved, when they live in a community full of their own people?? We have to do a better job of loving, supporting, encouraging and uplifting are own, whether they share the same last name or zip code.

      Deviant behavior doesn’t just start when one becomes a teenager; it manifests throughout their childhood. So, when we see these behaviors developing, it is our responsibility to intervene in that child’s life, and try to lead him/her in the right direction because that change of course could be all it takes to prevent that kid from becoming yet another ruthless thug on the street. These are long term solutions, just as the problem occurred over the long-term, but this is where it starts. Investing in the future with action today! Let’s reclaim our territory so when my generation is ready to have kids, we don’t have to move to another planet to ensure their and our own safety! God bless

      • TheHittList January 31, 2013 at 5:06 pm #

        Mr. Morehouse I don’t have anything to add because you said it PERFECTLY. I’ll just add my Love Jones finger snap and exit stage right. *snap snap snap*

  17. Tasha ellis January 31, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

    U did a excellent job raising her .god bless you stay strong and all the other good mothers that lost their kids .

  18. Heartbroken February 1, 2013 at 12:47 am #

    What a wonderful essay! And to piggyback on your idea, I am the TEACHER who had this angel AND her murderer in my class. She was the one who had the parents who made her do her homework, talked to her teacher and while they applauded her accomplishments and provided her with healthy food, afterschool activities, and immeasurable love, also held her accountable for her actions. He was the child who played MLK in the Black History program with not a soul to applaud him; who hit his classmate with a book but whose momma said he shouldn’t be suspended because the other child SAID something to him or the teacher didn’t like hime or just didn’t even bother to show up to school but sent him anyway, “cuz now he’s YOUR problem”! She was the child who was encouraged to dream, who knew that her parents disciplined her because they loved her; he was the child who was told, “you ain’t sh_t, who needed glasses but his momma wouldn’t sign the paper to get a FREE screening and glasses. She was the child who was always up-to-date with her shots, dr. visits and got help when she needed it. He had a momma (or grandmomma) who KNEW he needed help but didn’t know where to get it or couldn’t access it. While we mourn these innocent victims of these unspeakable crimes, the perpetrators once were innocent too. We have to stop lamenting their actions and TAKE ACTION when it counts – BEFORE they snuff out the light of that well-loved and taken care of child. Hopeless people are DANGEROUS people. “It takes a village…” has to be more than a soundbite. It is a call to action. Back in the day, ANY adult could and would discipline you, help you, hug you, etc. Now we are afraid to step in because that child was never taught to respect adults, children and more importantly, themselves.

  19. TayandZachsMom February 1, 2013 at 3:45 pm #

    Well said. Hidaya could have been any one of our daughters/sons; as you stated she really was. My 14 year old daughter cried for 2 days as a result of this senseless killing and I know the tears will return. She said riding to school Wednesday morning “everyone I look up to is being killed” my 7 year old son stated “don’t worry, you’re not alone. She’s looking down on you from Heaven with God.” (speechless) We try so hard to protect our children and teach them right from wrong; unfortunately, others don’t and we fall victim to their ignorance. Keep our children lifted up in prayer and pray the Blood protects them.

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