The Bachelor(s): Chicago Style

1 Feb

Yesterday as I was wasting my life away Facebooking instead of doing something productive I noticed a picture pop up in my news feed. Ohhh, now what do we have here I thought. The picture was the profile view of some roguishly attractive man. However, the caption was what really caught my attention. “Chicago’s 50 top bachelors: Grown, sexy and successful”. Oh yes! Waiter I’ll have two of those. Please and thanks! Admittedly I’m not quite ready to dive head first back into dating. That is not a headache I’m ready for. But dipping my toe in to see if the “water is warm” seemed like a good idea.

Being recently single,  out of a 6 year relationship and having long since burned my black book (may she rest in peace) has me feeling completely out of the loop. I feel like I should at least know what’s out there waiting for me right? Has anything changed from when I wrote May I Buy You a Drink? Do the men still herd themselves on one side of the club like six graders at a sock hop waiting for another member of the herd courageous enough to approach the girls at the punch bowl? Do women still show up to parties in the winter wearing summer dresses risking  frostbite to their whoha because they are so desperate to be noticed? Guess it was time for me to find out.

So I assembled some girlfriends and we were off on our adventure. Romeo, Oh Romeo, where fore art thou my Romeo? Could the Romeo to this Juliet be closer than I thought?

meat market pic

Ready for the Meat Market!

We get to the bar and the event was already in full swing and one by one the men-of-honor were all introducing themselves. I can tell you that the women in attendance could care less what these men were saying. Not because they weren’t interested. Oh, they were interested alright. These women had already read their short bios on the website and probably googled, facebooked and friend findered their person of interest. I saw fangs, claws and a couple horns and if they didn’t shut up soon and start mingling with the masses it was about to be a full Twilight Breaking Dawn fight scene!

Now I can not lie, there were some good looking men there that seemed to be about something positive. *insert light bulb moment* This would be a great time to knock another item off my list. I’m supposed to buy a strange guy a drink and strike up a conversation and there is no time better than the present. Now, I have to admit as soon as I realized I had to do this I was immediately nervous. Should I just go up to a guy and introduce myself? Should I send one of my friends over to some guy and bring him back to the bar? I didn’t have long to contemplate because just then a cute  guy appears and begins to order a drink. “Bartender, can I have a (insert manly drink here)?” Thinking quickly on my feet I slid up beside him and wrap my hand around the hand he was using to signal the bartender. He looks up surprised and I smile. “You can put that on my tab” I say to the bartender and proceed to turn back around and talk to my friends.

My new friend/victim Sir. William. :)

My new friend/victim Sir. William. 🙂

I’ll just go ahead and wait while you stand up and applaud me because that was some James Bond 007 pimp shit. I was feeling like a Bawse (pronounced boss) after that. Ladies, the saying “it aint tricking if you got it” has never been more true. Now I don’t plan on becoming somebodies sugar mama no time ever but there is something to be said about being confident and secure enough to buy a man a drink. After that, I can just tell you that I was on fire. And with that, I have a few gems to share.

1. Men don’t like it when you try hard, but they love it when you don’t care. I saw some beautiful women last night. And I am sure a lot of them could have bought and sold the bar and half the men in there with a swipe of their Amex. However, I saw a lot of women crammed into too tight dresses, with too tight smiles and too high shoes. (Granted my shoes were 6 inches but I do this..). I used to wonder why no one ever approached me when I went out and last night I figured it out. I looked like I was waiting on someone to approach me. And nothing says run to a man more than expectations. LOL.

2. Have Fun, Not Expectations.  I know this sounds like the same as number one but its a little bit different. If you’re going out for a night on the town, GO OUT FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN. Don’t go out for a night on the town with your girls looking for a husband. Why? Because you are going to be too distracted surveying the party, worried about your clothes, sucking in your stomach and licking lipstick off your teeth to actually have fun. I remember my ex used to ALWAYS say to me, I just want to have fun. When we stop having fun the relationship was pretty much over. Men are attracted to fun like a moth to a flame. For them, it’s like being a kid all over again except now they get to have sex and drink. Have fun ladies, the men will follow.

3. Mingle.  Now this one is scary but I promise you its worth it. If you come and spend the entire time in the same spot with the same people you arrived with guess who you get to leave with? You guessed it! The same people you arrived with. And mingling does not just apply to men, you can mingle with women too! (I know, the horror. Now get over it!). Another friend who was also in attendance  last night joined me on one of our famous bathroom excursions. And who else did we meet in the ladies room but one of the bloggers from 6 Brown Chicks and her mom. She was on Oprah and Iyanla Fix My Life. Not only were they HELLA cool (and she’s GORGE in person yaw’ll) and down to earth but they even invited us to another event. SCORE! Another opportunity  for fun and a possibility to  meet someone special.

6 Brown Girls Chick, Me and my friend  Tea!

6 Brown Girls Chick, Me and my friend Tea!

All in all I had a great time. I laughed, I danced, I mingled and I met some great people. I also learned that what attracts men to me the most, is just being myself. So from here on out..that’s what I plan to do!

With Love,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous

The suave and biteable Chris Nolan.

wierd guy

No idea who this guy is but my mama said be nice to everyone. He wanted a picture so I obliged!

One of the Bachelors and great friend of mine Michael Kolawale.

One of the Bachelors and great friend of mine Michael Kolawale.


5 Responses to “The Bachelor(s): Chicago Style”

  1. Ava February 1, 2013 at 4:57 pm #

    Awwwww!!! this was awesome!!! and so honest…I hope it helps other single women…or men, not to try so damn hard!!!!

    • Chacolit1 February 3, 2013 at 12:05 am #

      LOL!!! Sharks WERE in there…..
      **Dancing** I’m in the blog….
      Stranger in the pic… That’s my boy Tony, he’s cool peoples…lol!!

    • TheHittList February 3, 2013 at 8:23 am #

      PLEASE share it with someone you know. When we know better we do better…and some of these women do NOT know better!

  2. Mrs. Shah February 6, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

    Sounds like a great time Mistress and you and the ladies looked fab of course!

    • TheHittList February 6, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

      We had a ball! Thanks doll!

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