Super Bowl Etiquette for Guys & Dolls

3 Feb

While my team is not playing this year (Tom Brady we still need to talk) I still plan on attending a Super Bowl party! Before I head out to enjoy the festivities I wanted to post a short list of Do’s and Don’t for those who are watching the game and those who are attending the game. Yes, there is a difference. What is it you ask? Well…read on and see:

Rule 1. Ladies, Do NOT show up to the Super Bowl Party dressed like this. Yes, you are fabulous and WE know it. But showing up to a Super Bowl Party in your cocktail dress is like showing up for Christmas in an Easter Bunny suit. It makes no sense. High Heels, Yes! Little Black Dress, No!


Unless you want Super Bowl chili and stale beer on you hot self..leave this at home!

Rule No 2. Men DO have manners. Us women normally give you a wide birth for your card party’s, basketball at the bar with the fellas and Football Sunday with your pack. Super Bowl, however, is a more mixed crowd. While you aren’t expected to learn any manners at the last minute please leave your cave man mentality at home. No farting, belching or objectifying behavior while the women are in the room. We appreciate it.

DUDE! My mouth was open!

DUDE! My mouth was open!

Rule No 3. If you’re not talking about football shut up. This goes for both women and men. Not everyone in attendance cares about football. That  my friend is totally fine. WHAT is not fine is when it’s the end of the third quarter, the game is tied , your favorite player is out and the tension is very high and you’re talking about your babys first steps, how your job sucks or some clever shit you heard on CNN. We care, but just not right now. If you aren’t interested in watching the game, be courteous and go to a spot designated for those who aren’t watching it either. Otherwise, shut the hell up.

You grab the phone, I'll grab the rope and duct tape.

You grab the phone, I’ll grab the rope and duct tape.

Rule 4. People DO actually watch the Super Bowl for the Super Bowl Commercials. EVEN football enthusiast  There is nothing worse then watching an entire Super Bowl game and missing all the commercials because as soon as the game goes to intermission people pick that moment to break the sound barrier. You know that place where the talkers go, GO THERE! I wanna see the Doritos commercial and the cute E-trade baby. I do not want to have to YouTube all the commercials just to keep up with my Facebook feed later.

No Caption needed. This kid slays me!

No Caption needed. This kid slays me!

Rule No 5. Thank your host, don’t be a douche. Super Bowl parties are huge undertakings, second to maybe weddings and baby showers. Your host probably spent the entire week cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking and God knows what else  to ensure you have the best time imaginable. Not to mention all the money to feed all you free loaders. So do the right thing. DON’T leave any surprises in the toilet that will require them to call a plumber. DON’T show up empty handed. Bring a beer or a cake or toilet paper (for serious..people have run out.) And DON’T leave immediately after the game without picking up a plate or cup or two.

What the DEUCE!

What the DEUCE!

Follow these rules and not only will you have a GREAT time attending the big party but you may even cop an invite next year!


The Mistress of All Things Fabulous


4 Responses to “Super Bowl Etiquette for Guys & Dolls”

  1. Keith Townsend February 5, 2013 at 8:35 am #

    I like these rules. Hope you had a great time.

    I’m catching up on your blog. You’ve been busy! I’m glad you picked it back up you really have a talent for writing.

    • TheHittList February 5, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

      I had a great time and I have indeed been busy! Happy reading!

  2. TheHittList February 2, 2014 at 10:16 am #

    Reblogged this on The Hitt List and commented:

    No need to reinvent the wheel! I know I don’t normally (and by normally I mean EVER) post on Sunday but it’s SUPER BOWL SUNDAY YA’LL! And this stuff is important. So here is a reblog of some great Super Bowl watching advice. Read it. Follow it. Get invited back next year! Oh..and GO PATRIOTS! ❤ (Yea, they aren't playing today but they're still my team! LOL!

  3. Eric Hill February 2, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

    I love it!!! These rules should be a staple in family upbringing. Thy shall not forget the Super Bowl rules. Classic!

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