Excuses are tools of the incompetent
which create monuments
Those who specialize in them
are seldom good in anything…. –
The other day I picked my son up from school and I was fuming. I had just received a notification saying that he was failing science. I was quite frankly pissed. I’m an overachiever and quite frankly it baffles me when my son underachieves. He has everything he needs to succeed in and out of school and sometimes I wonder if he’s doing it to spite me (I really do dislike teenagers). This kid is BRILLZ (brilliant) and I want nothing more than for him to reach his potential ( I could smack myself in the mouth for sounding like my mother just now).
He jumped in the car and immediately could tell that my mood was a lot Mr. Hyde and very little Dr. Jekyll. The nice mom did not pick him up today and he knew it. He quickly sobered up and muffled whatever hopes he had that we’d be singing Kumbaya My Lord on the way home.
Son: Did I do something wrong?
Me: *blank stare*
Son: Oh, did you get my science grade? Let me tell you what happened….
Me: *clinches steering wheel hard enough to stop circulation from flowing into my fingers*. Shut. Up. Do NOT speak.
I’ll save you the rest of this conversation. Suffice it to say it did not end well for him. Let me tell you what really burns me though. With my child and with adults. EXCUSES. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. I was late because XYZ. I can’t succeed in life because ABC. When I was a kid QRS happened and I haven’t been able to move past it other wise I’d be where I want to be. Excuses. Explanations. Reasons. Let me take my guitar back out and strum some sad melody for you to this sad song you’re singing.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but we’ve ALL been through something. Everyone of us has or will have a “come to Jesus” moment that can change us from who we were to who we are. I’m extremely sympathetic to personal struggles, trials and tribulations. I’ve had my fair share of them. The world however, doesn’t care. I’m not saying get over it. Getting over it doesn’t allow you to deal with it and the problem just happens again. (Like taking a pop quiz over and over again. If you fail it. You just keep taking it until you pass it.) I’m saying WORK THROUGH IT. Go to a therapist. Talk to your pastor. Confide in a trusted friend. Read a self help book. Journal. DO SOMETHING! BUT don’t you dare make an excuse!
I was reading a friend and fellow bloggers blog this morning and he said something that was so poignant that I had to share. “Winners win and losers have really great excuses. ” That maybe a little harsh for some, but succeeding in life is all about your decision to accept nothing less than that outcome regardless of the obstacles.
After I had a “talk” with my son I made him draw up a contract. On the contract it outlines that if he needs help he will ask for it and his parents will provide it. If he needs me to quiz him and help him study for tests it’s his responsibility to come to me and ask. If something is going on at school that is impeding him from learning he is to tell me immediately. He will be proactive and an ACTIVE participant is solving any challenge that keeps him from excelling in school. BUT the moment he comes home with anything less than a C (and even that isn’t acceptable but we have to start somewhere) he is not allowed to give me any excuses, reasons or explanations. He will take his punishment like a man/child and we move forward.
Wish me luck. I really dislike teenagers. BUT I HATE excuses.
Mistress of All Things Fabulous
PS. I have quite a few Greek friends all of whom had to learn a version of the poem I posted in the beginning of this post. It’s anonymous so the original version and author is unknown. Here are other versions. So no one thinks I’m playing favorites..lol
Excuses are monuments of nothingness,
They build bridges to nowhere,
Those of us who us these tools of incompetence,
Seldom become anything but nothing at all.”
Excuses are monuments of nothingness. They build bridges to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence are masters of nothingness. Therefore there are no excuses.
Excuses are monuments of nothingness, that build bridges to nowhere. Those that use these tools of incompetence are worthy of nothingness