You Are Now Entering Stepfordville. Enjoy Your Stay.

20 Feb

“There are days when I feel I can take over the world.

On the other days, I feel the world has taken over me. ” -M

There is a saying that is takes less muscles to smile than to frown. Well how many muscles does it take to give the finger? This is a legitimate question as sometimes I find myself too tired to smile and too ambivalent to frown. A simple middle finger more aptly describes my disgruntled state and the grey area of my feelings. I’m not happy, I’m not sad. I’m just too tired to care. What am I trying to say? It takes a lot of freaking energy to be Susie Sunshine all the damn time.

I often find myself in the paradox of Stepfordville. Smile. Look happy. Think positive. Be optimistic. Turn the other cheek. Keep your head up. Look at the bright side. And eventually….your reality will match your perception. Thanks Yoda for that little gem of wisdom. Only took you 800 years to come up with that huh? Don’t get me wrong, I totally buy into the whole positive thinking theory. I mean, I don’t just write about it I LIVE IT. Normally. However, sometimes, just sometimes I DON”T WANT TO BE so freaking nice and positive and happy.

Look, I'm smiling and I'm happy. And I'm thinking about pushing you off a cliff in my head. *grin*

Look, I’m smiling and I’m happy. And I’m thinking about pushing you off a cliff in my head. *grin*

Sometimes I want to smack the shit out of someone who had the gall to sass me when I was just being concerned and compassionate. Sometimes I want to not only give the finger to the motorist in the other car who caused me to spill my $5 latte and simultaneously bite my tongue but I also want to ram them with my car and knock off their bumper. Sometimes I want to not be so shallow and vain that I’m willing to give up my fake hair, make-up and stilettos for a short stay in jail because I’ve exacted some well-deserved revenge on my asshole ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I want to be selfish and inconsiderate and rude and thoughtless.

Excuse me. Would you like to repeat that?

Excuse me. Would you like to repeat that?

So why not just do it you ask? No one is expecting you to be Susie Sunshine ALL the time. Well, yes and no. One one hand, it’s not that I haven’t had my moments. No one is perfect and I most certainly am not. I can be all those things, but I really try my best NOT to.  I honestly find it extremely difficult to do or be the thing that bring me the most hurt and displeasure when done to me. It’s almost as if my soul touches a hot flame and recoils. A moment is all I need to snap me back to reality. I have no idea how people can be that way for a lifetime.

On the other hand my mother used to say smile and the whole world smiles with you. Cry and  you cry alone. So as much as I would love to wallow in my bitch fest no body wants to be around a selfish, bitchy, crying, complaining nit (British for bad person). one except me apparently..but that’s a different blog for a different day.

So I guess I’ll go do some yoga and meditate and find my chi. Or sumthin’.


Mistress of All things Annoyed Fabulous


2 Responses to “You Are Now Entering Stepfordville. Enjoy Your Stay.”

  1. Kaneisha February 20, 2013 at 10:47 am #

    PLEASE..get out of my head! Lol

    • TheHittList February 20, 2013 at 10:50 am #


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