First Comes Love..then Comes Sex?

1 Apr

first-date-black-couple

I had a date this weekend. And it was awesome. We damn near closed the joint. It was all the things you want a first date to be. Great location, low lights, flowing drinks, attractive companion and sexual chemistry. And when I say sexual chemistry I mean singed eye-brows, the crossing of legs multiple times and the “I was staring at your lips but I’m going to pretend like I wasn’t”. (Me not him).

It wasn’t until then that I realize why men cheat.

Now hear me out. I don’t CONDONE cheating. I don’t advocate it in anyway. I’m not a cheater and I don’t like cheaters. But the lure about men leaving old vajayjay, for new vajayjay made a lot more sense after my date. Why, because “new” under the right circumstances is EXTREMELY intoxicating and alluring. It’s probably why I have so many clothes in my closet. Even though I have more than enough clothes to not wear the same outfit for an entire year (not an exaggeration) the idea of wearing a dress for the first time or a pair of killer spiked stilettos does something to me. It’s probably why I’m considering getting a new car (I actually do need one though) even though my car is paid off and a maximum of two grand would probably have the car lasting for another year at least.  The idea of having a new car, is just so much more appealing then that old car that I’m driving.

Anyway, I’m sitting across from this guy and we’re having what can only be described as a verbal and intellectual sword lancing competition. I comment, he counters, I rebuff, he repudiates..we both grandstand and eventually someone concedes or we agree to disagree. AND with each word I’m getting more and more turned on (I’m intellectually stimulated) to the point that even I had to admit to myself how ridiculous it was. So I asked my self..I said self..am I so turned on because he is just the most awesome man I’ve even met and he is secretly wearing a superman cape up under his clothes (I didn’t check..I behaved) or is it because sexual tension mixed with sexual chemistry mixed with self imposed abstinence plus just exiting a long term relationship  has me feeling some kind of way about doing something (and someone) new.

Is he looking down my shirt?? I hope he's looking down my shirt.

Is he looking down my shirt?? I hope he’s looking down my shirt.

Humm? Something interesting to ponder.

So I ask my good guy friend and this is what he had to say about the whole situation,”Your drought got you extra horny, and a dude is going to be Prince Charming until he does get’s laid.. Sad, but true. If all else fails..dry hump”. LOL..You gotta love having friends that will keep it real. But he’s right. Not about the dry humping part, but about the Prince Charming part. Every body is on their best behavior when you first meet. ESPECIALLY before you first have sex. So what’s the answer to my question? Is he superman or am I a super hornball? Well, the truth is..while he could be superman, I don’t nearly know him well enough to make that determination. And the truth of the matter is the only thing worse than buyers remorse is buyers remorse of a sexual nature. LOL.

I totally get that something new is magical. I get that gateway between “what could be” and “what is” probably releases all sorts of testosterone,  oxytocin and other genitalia arousing hormones. Your conscience is screaming “don’t do it” while you body is screaming “shut the fuck up so I can do this!” LMAO. However, at the end of the day I know that I want more than a good romp. I deserve more. And as much as it pains me (read Sex and Singledom…it really does pain me…lol) my ultimate choice is to sacrifice today’s pleasure for tomorrows happiness..

So with that said I should probably reserve dating to public places with plenty of light and plenty of people to keep myself out of plenty of trouble. No Redbox dates for me.

Legs crossed,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous

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