My Vajayjay Isn’t Bitter..

17 Apr

Since it’s Hump Day ie Wednesday I figured today was as good a day as any to discuss an appropriate, hump day worthy topic. Let’s discuss my bitter vagina shall we. Before you start making that face, I already know what you’re thinking. You didn’t know vagina’s could get bitter either huh? Well, neither did I so that makes two of us. Now personally I do not believe that my vagina is bitter or even at the risk of becoming bitter, but apparently a lot of men I know seem to think other wise.

I'm so damn angry! Let's have sex. it heals broken hearts AND makes babies!

I’m so damn angry! Let’s have sex. It heals broken hearts AND makes babies!

So what’s the deal with a bitter vagina you ask? WHAT is an actual bitter vagina? Allow me to explain. I was talking to a good guy friend yesterday about an “adult” themed dream I had and how it was the best sex I’d had all year. His response was that I better get laid soon or I was going to be a bitter woman. *PAUSE* Now, forget the fact that I just dealt with a horrible breakup, cancelled a wedding, sold my engagement or lost the person I thought was my soul mate. Forget the fact that I did this while graduating from college, raising a rebellious teen, looking for a job and trying to keep my life afloat and my sanity in tact. Forget the fact that said situation left me without a dime to my name, had me living out of boxes and on the verge of inducting someone (I wont say any names…lol) to the “Snapped” Hall of Fame. Forget about my pride, my heart, and my sense of self among other things. Who needs  vacations or  spas! SCREW THERAPY! What I really need to be worried about is being bitter and apparently the key to not being bitter is located inside my vagina! It’s like Tussin…it cures what ails you! WHO KNEW!

*Insert raised eye brow and squinted eye for effect.*

Now, had this friend been the only person who’d made such a comment I would have laughed it off and dismissed it. However, I’ve had men on several occasions tell me that I better hurry up and “get some”  before I get bitter? Men, is this actually code for, hurry up and get laid before you figure out your value as a woman lies between your ears and not your legs and start spreading my foolishness to other women thus messing up your chances to sleep with unsuspecting women with low esteem with whom you can bed and discard at your leisure? IJS

Granted when I was young and dumb I fully subscribed to “the best way to get over an old love, is with a new love” theory. It wasn’t that I didn’t like being single, it was just that I enjoyed being in a relationship more. I liked the companionship. I enjoyed the intimacy. I liked having a go to person to spend my spare time with and all of the other things that went along with having a relationship. BUT when things ended with someone it was like they died in my mind. And just like that I was over my failed relationship and on to my next one. However I never bothered to “work through” them (getting over something and working  through something are two completely different things). I didn’t deal with what went wrong, if the person was a wrong choice, if I was wrong in the relationship or anything. I simply disembarked the relationship bus and waited for the next one to arrive so I could board.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I think this is why I am supposed to want to have sex so badly. I got fucked over but before I get bitter and start hating men I should get laid  to dull the ache of my broken heart so I forget how bad it hurt, how angry I’m supposed to be and why I never want it to happen again. Well, I hate to be the one to tell  you, but that’s called self medicating. I’m pretty sure that’s what drug addicts and alcohol abusers do to keep from dealing with their problems. The problem is it only creates another addiction and another problem to resolve. That’s probably why I’m in this mess in now, because I never actually sat back long enough to fully understand what happened in my failed relationship so it wouldn’t happen again.

Granted, I know that men and women process sex differently. Men connect sex to a desirable feeling  they’d like to repeatedly experience (but not necessarily the person) while women connect the desirable feeling to the person (but not necessarily the act). While entering into sexual relationship has many purposes, healing a broken heart is not one of them. The truth is, it actually makes you more broken. So thanks guys for being so concerned about me but finding a man to bed has never been an issue for me. I keep options. 🙂



The Mistress of All Things Fabulous

Article on what happens during sex



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: