Get Cho Money Right Gurl!

25 Apr

When studies say that the number one problem in relationships is communication followed closely by money, they could save themselves a couple of key strokes by just saying the number one problem in relationships is communicating about money. Now this isn’t the case in ALL failed relationships/marriages. But it does seem to apply to the majority of them. What about the  love conquers all stuff you ask? I know I’m not the only one that read that in some harlequin, Sweet Valley High, Are You There God it’s me the Mistress of All thing Fabulous romance novel in high school (or last week), right? Can’t we just hug it out? The answer is both yes and no.


I remember going to pre martial counseling with the ex and being asked how we both viewed marriage. I already knew his answer but was still intrigued to hear him say, “Marriage is like a business deal”. This may sound a little cold to a lot of people, especially women because we think with our hearts first. But if you listen to the radio (Ne-Yo said he loves a woman who’s got her own) or read a book (didn’t Steve Harvey talk about men loving women who don’t need them) there seems to be an overarching theme being repeated here.

Men don’t mind taking care of a woman…as long as she doesn’t need to be taken care of.

I was raised very old school. I always say that I’m old fashioned with a twist. I believe in all the feminist equal rights stuff. I want equal pay, I want to be viewed as an equal in society. I want to be respected like a man and paid like him too. But in relationships I want my car door opened. I want to be brought roses and picked up on dates. I want to go out to dinner to a restaurant that he has chosen and made reservations for and pays for. I want to be treated like the Queen that I know I am. However, it’s reciprocal. My man will get treated like a King in every sense of the word. (He ain’t got no worries….lol)

As a woman, I want to have a man that makes me feel safe emotionally, physically and financially. I’m a parent. I need to KNOW that a potential partner can take care of not just himself but potentially OUR family. That’s part of MY criteria for dating. How financially stable are you and what’s your earning potential? What kind of lifestyle can I expect for us to be able to provide for our children. (I’m keeping it real here…and it’s about to get more real so have several seats while I preach good).

Women, did you know that men have this same requirement? Not only that, but they have the RIGHT to have this same requirement. If you meet a man and he’s worked his entire life to save money and have good credit so that he can provide for himself and his family, what makes you think he wants to date someone who has more debts than assets, more shoes than cash-on-hand and no clue how to budget or balance a check book. Big booty Judy starts looking more like the beer goggles girl after a sober one night stand. Not so attractive.

Being pretty with a mean head game is good enough for a dip and possibly a girlfriend but not a wife. If you want a husband, you need to have a mean shoe game, head game and financial game. The problem however lies in the fact that no one really teaches women this. They say, get your money together so  you will NEVER have to depend on a man. And yes, that is the MAIN reason why everyone should be financially independent (both men and women.) Speaking from experience, you never want to be in a position where your next meal and the roof over your head is dependent on the good nature and kind heart of someone else. Not your parents, your friends, your neighbors or your mate. Unless of course, you don’t mind being homeless, if/when it comes to it. IJS

Get cho money right gurl!

Get cho money right gurl!

Financial responsibility is not just a means of protecting yourself from stress and undo aggravation, it’s also how men weed out women (JUST LIKE WOMEN USE IT TO WEED OUT MEN so let’s not be hypocrites here). I still believe that the man’s primary role is to be the head of and provider for his family. And I do not subscribe ever to a woman “taking care” of a man. However, I respect a mans desire to feel like a “BAD CHICK” has a couple stacks saved in the bank, pays her bills on time and knows what an IRA and ROI is.

NOW there is a caveat. Not everyone is financially savvy or not everyone was taught this in school or by their parents or guardians. My mother never explained how credit worked, the importance of saving or investing. Saving money for us meant keeping an extra book of food stamps from the prior month (Ball so hard, mupuckas wanna find I finally learned all this the hard way after a job loss with no emergency fund and a bankruptcy. Nonetheless, if a man or woman is teachable or moldable and earnest in their desire to be “put on” this financial game then by all mean, consider it an investment.

BUT at the end of the day it’s your responsibility to make sure your financial game is better than your shoe game. I always joke the Google is the king of all things. Work that search engine. Watch some Youtube videos. Take some free classes offered by banks or your local Federal Reserve. In this day and age there is no reason to not improve your financial position. And that improvement starts with KNOWLEDGE. And by all means, share that knowledge with your children.


The Mistress of All Things Fabulous


One Response to “Get Cho Money Right Gurl!”

  1. Laurencio Miguel April 25, 2013 at 11:47 am #

    Great post darling.

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