Reasons why I hate online dating

17 Sep

So this is like the 3rd or 4th week that I’ve been on this online dating site and I have to say..I hate it. Why I thought it would be easier than meeting someone in the real world I will never know. However, the only difference is that I get to be disappointed daily when I receive my morning email of “Dear Mistress, Here is a list of guys that you would never date in million years but we appreciate the donation you made to our site so we’re just going to send anything your way so you don’t feel like you got hosed even though you totally did” versus the off chance I actually have time to leave the house and socialize.

Now, I’m not a quitter so I’m not giving up this easily. Plus I already paid for a three month subscription and I can’t get a refund. And since this is supposed to be fun and informative (more so for my readers than me at this time) I am going to stay the course sharing the joys (0) with the pains (10) along the way.

So…today I want to talk about my “matches”.

Now this particular dating site connects you based on personalities. This is supposed to be a good thing. I mean, I’m not caught up on looks. Right? Well that’s what I thought. Apparently I’m not caught up on looks when I have the opportunity to get past those looks first. If you’re nice or generous or funny or smart and I’ve been in your company enough to enjoy your company I can easily find myself attracted to a “non-traditionally” attractive person. HOWEVER, if all I have to go off  is  looks then suffice it to say you MUST be easy on the eyes. In other words, you can’t look like this.

Martin Lawrence

I mean you can, but I will probably opt to not even read your profile.

Here is a list of guys I’ve encountered on line so far…

#1 Mr. Poser – The guy who post only one picture to his profile with two men but does not identify which one he is. Now a more naïve person would probably say it’s the hot one. Common sense dictates is the short, portly balding one trying to be slick.


#2 Mr.  Weirdo – Dear Carrot Top, can you please explain to me why I should be turned on by you carving a pumpkin with a very sharp knife. Are you displaying you childlike nature or your dismemberment skills .


#3 Mr. Rearview Mirror – Seriously, I can appreciate the fact that you’ve traveled all over the world. But if I wanted to see picturesque Greece or Athens I’d either go or google a picture. The fact that I can’t make out your face or any facial features is annoying. NEXT!

rearview mirro

#4 Mr. Black Girls – Why some people think it’s a compliment to tell me (a black woman) the merits of a black woman I do not know. But when you lead with, “I like dating Black women because” you appear very Jaime Kennedy-esque ala Malibu’s Most Wanted.

jaime kennedy

#5 Mr. No one tells me no – So you’re a millionaire. *yawn* That’s awesome. I’m sure you get a lot of action which is why you’re on a dating site. Listen..if you invested in dating the same way you’ve invested in your business interests you’d probably be married by now. Interest is earned not paid for.

Rich black man


8 Responses to “Reasons why I hate online dating”

  1. bleep November 18, 2013 at 11:32 pm #

    Men in general suck, and the ones online are even worse. These days I spend time in more worthy causes, like myself and my business. My income is growing and Im at peace. Loving the single life:)

  2. November 24, 2013 at 4:26 pm #

    I have been reading on this topic all day. But your page here is by far the best one I have read! And the most true! They all made me laugh. And #5 tops it off! I even loved the comment by Bleep! ❤

  3. EuphonicCharity December 11, 2013 at 9:08 pm #

    hahaha–I love your descriptions.
    I hear frequently that I should join or eharmony because “You get what you pay for”…. and yet…. maybe that’s just wishful thinking ^_^ I’ll stick with POF and OK Cupid for my entertainment (because, seriously, who wants a fabulous cupid anyway? mediocrity for me!)

    • TheHittList December 12, 2013 at 11:38 am #

      Save your money. I’ve tried eHarmony. I could write an entire post on them alone. At least with the other sites you aren’t out of any money. LOL

  4. Reality Check September 30, 2014 at 11:25 am #

    No wonder some of you man-haters are still single! You’re a bunch of morons! (“bleep”)

    • TheHittList September 30, 2014 at 11:36 am #

      LMAO! Now aren’t you special. Run along Dear. I’m sure there is some traffic just waiting for you to play in! ❤ Toodles!

  5. thepinch February 16, 2015 at 12:18 pm #

    it’s just not the happy venue that the sites like to say it is.

    They say the peak demand age for a woman on an online dating site is 26. That means that every sex addict, middle age addled buffoon, serial rapist, or narcissist twice her age targets her. its a magnet for perverts, like schoolyards are for pedophiles.

    The websites that encourage women to contact men say that it’s kewl. Nothing can be further from the truth. Any man I spoke to on the subject say that he figures he’s got it made and that she can manage the courtship, such as it is. It’s all crap.

    I would say that close to 50 % of the contacts I receive are either humiliating, rude, or obviously cut and paste,

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