Dating and Blogging…to share or not to share.

11 Dec

To share or not to share..that IS the question.

A few months ago I was “texting” with a guy with whom I was interested in dating. This had been an ongoing “thing” with me and said person for a few months. “Hey’s it going?” I give the customary response and after a couple of texts we’d end back up at, “we should get together”. To which the getting together part would NEVER happen.

Of course, most of the time I still feel like a fish out of water with this dating stuff. Do I play it cool and let him chase me? Do I just say what I want to happen and see if he’s interested?


Me being from the old school prefers the latter for several reasons. #1 I’m of the frame of mind that if a man wants something (and knows he wants it) he’s going to go afterward it. If he doesn’t know he wants it yet, he doesn’t need it. #2 If you don’t have the balls to pursue me then you aren’t a good fit for me. AND more importantly, #3 if you haven’t pursued me, there is a reason. I don’t need to know the reason. You having a reason is a good enough reason.

Fast forward to me and this guy’s last “conversation”.

Me: We should get together.

Him: That’s cool, as long as I don’t end up on your blog.

Me: DOH! *insert face palm*

I knew at some point that moment would come. I think I alluded to it a couple of months ago. Maybe even earlier in the year. At some point someone interesting would enter the picture. We may go on a few dates (or no dates in the case of the abovementioned person). We may start spending more time with each other. We may even decide to be “intimate”. But one thing for sure, the elephant in the room that is my blog would rear its ugly head and that awkward moment WOULD arrive.

Him: “You’re not going to write about this in your blog are you?” Me: Oh shit.

Well, I think it’s safe for me to admit that someone interesting has indeed entered the picture. We’ve actually been on more than 3 dates (which is a record for me) and I have yet to want to disembowel him for any particular reason. And while there are about a good 10 blogs I could write about said adventure so far, I find myself hesitant to write about it for several reasons.

#1 Letting my friends know WHO I’m dating will be like that moment Zeus yells, “Release the Kraken” in the Clash of the Titans movie (pun intended). I’m not sure I want to put anyone through the onslaught of critical eyes and over protective friends looking out for my best interest.

#2 While I have almost 30,000 blog views (thank you very much) and clearly do not know even a microcosm of the people who actually read my blog, it goes without saying that some people who read my blog DO in fact know me. There is a lot more freedom when you’re writing under the guise of anonymity. Sharing this information will essentially obliterate that anonymity along with some of my privacy.

#3 No one minds being written about when they look like a hero. But NO ONE likes being written about when they look like a douche. As much as I would like to hope this situation goes well, the truth is that it may not. As much as I try to NOT write any personal, identifying information about anyone else, most people still have an idea when they are the inspiration of my praise or my venom.

So with all that said. I did ask “New Guy” how he felt about being written about. His response, “I didn’t think I had much of a say in the matter.” LOL! I liked his response for several reasons. #1 It showed a respect for my style of writing. I felt like he was saying, I won’t attempt to hinder your creativity in any way. I could be reaching, but that’s what it felt like to me. #2 I felt like it was an acknowledgement of trust. I know for sure he’s probably read everything I’ve written. He knows how I roll! This showed that he trusts me to write about our experience honestly. That means a lot considering how important integrity is in my writing. #3 And more importantly, it made me feel as if his motives towards me were genuine. If they weren’t he’d probably be MUCH more concerned about being my muse.

In the eternal words of Da Franchise Boyz, “Oh I think I like him”.

So just dawned on me that I did just write about “New Guy” even though I had no intention of doing so. *waves, hey boo* LOL. So I guess I just answered my own question. I’ll continue to share in the same manner I always have. But for now, I think I’ll just refer to him as “New Guy”.  No need in letting the cat out the bag…not yet anyway.

Yours truly,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulust


2 Responses to “Dating and Blogging…to share or not to share.”

  1. sistatv December 11, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    I’m team share intelligently. You are right to call him “the new guy” and to share selectively. This blog is a part of your life but you are the owner of said life. Say what you want to say and shut up about the rest!
    I’m also team “Congrats on the New Boo”! Yay new! You deserve the best of everything!

    • TheHittList December 11, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

      I like that Sistatv! Team “Share Intelligently”. To be fair, I never use names. Even the ex was simply the ex. But thanks mamacita! I’ll take that congrats and best wishes! Lord knows I’m ready for a LOT of happy! 🙂

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