Why money matters matter..

14 Feb


So according to a recent non-scientific straw poll (Mistress of All Things Fabulous), men from all over the world (ok, so maybe not the ENTIRE world, but you work with me here ladies) have weighed in on the subject of money and relationships. The data has been submitted, and what follows is my expert analysis as a man’s man, connoisseur of all things manly, and licensed certified womanologist. Fellows, grab a stogie, and a masculine beverage. Ladies take notes.

Annnnnnnnnnnd go!

A. How important is the financial stability of a potential mate?

  • Important, I would like for them to be but it’s not the only deciding factor. 53%
  • Not that Important, It’s nice to have but other things are more important. 20%
  • Critical, I won’t settle down if they aren’t financially stable. 15%
  • I don’t care, I will provide all my partner’s needs. 12%

Ladies, many of you know that we men are simple creatures. Most if not all of you have heard the old adage, “feed us, friend us, and f@*k us” as the way into a man’s heart. While that is mostly true, you also have to bring something else to the table; more apropos you have to NOT bring something to the table—the crazy gene. Explanation of that hereditary trait will be left for another blog.  Having your financial ish together is nice, but men are hunter-gatherers. We pursue. When made right, a man is a protector first and provider second. We appreciate a woman who has a stable career, investments, owns her home and a retirement plan, but we don’t pick you first thinking about those things. Heck it isn’t really even in the top five things we look for! This begs the question “well then what do men want?” In order:

  1. Attractive to the eye
  2. Willingness to be a whore for us only
  3. Less children and baby daddies than fingers on one hand (far fewer)
  4. Ability to hold an intelligent conversation about something other than reality television
  5. Lack of the Crazy Gene (let me just say this about the crazy gene—if a woman has it, it is likely that her momma gave it to her—but I digress. Put a pin in that, we’ll get back to it)
  6. Thru 36

37. Financial Stability

The thing to remember ladies, is that if the guy is worth his weight in salt, and has real interest in you beyond “what that throat do though,” then the guy is thinking that no matter what you have or don’t he must provide. Being a provider is part of what we do, so if you line up at the “day labor office” most mornings, bank at the check cashing store, live with your sister and her kids, and always have more month at the end of your money,  most of us  look at how—if  a relationship is in the offing-  we can do better together. Most men will consider 1-36 before your financial stability.

B. How important is your own stability when considering a future mate?

  •  Not that important, as long as we’re in love money doesn’t matter. 6%
  • Important, I would like to be but will settle down with a partner willing to help me grow. 44%
  • Critical, I won’t settle down if I can’t provide for my family. 47%
  • Critical and Important. I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY, but I would THINK about settling down if me and my partner could grow together. 3%

To the above question, again, it bears out the statement I made earlier. A man made correctly, will feel the need to be able to take care of himself and his family.  If you as a mate can help, that is great. Love is secondary to most of us when it comes to finances and relationships. We understand that more often than not, she will have a job, he will have a job, and when incomes are combined, we should be in a better financial position together than we could be alone. Teamwork makes the dream work!

Remember ladies; I said “most” and “made correctly.”

Men protect and provide.  Women, likewise when made correctly, multiply. Whatever a woman is given she makes more with it. Give a woman sperm, she makes a child, give a woman food she makes a meal, give a woman a house and she will make it into a home.  That’s how we fit, men and women.  Your financial “situation” matters to a degree, but ours is FAR more important in our minds as it relates even to approaching a woman, never mind dating her, or even considering a relationship leading to marriage.

C. How often should your date pick up a check?

  • Every other date 32%
  • I don’t mind if a woman pays for every date. 12%
  • Never 9%
  • Special Occasions 47%

This question continues to dovetail into my brilliance in all things manly and the obvious MENSA level intelligence I display as it relates to women. I just asserted that men would consider our financial capacity before we ever even approach a woman.  We do that for two reasons: The first is that any man who has spent more than fifteen minutes around a gaggle of women knows that you all are FAR worse than men when it comes to sharing your thoughts about the opposite sex with your friends—especially if there is a Cabernet or Pino or both involved.  You will talk about a man who doesn’t pick up a check worse than one who cums too quickly. Men understand this and expect to pick up the check on more than 90% of occasions—and the remaining 10% won’t present themselves until several years into a relationship and after your legs have been made to shake consistently from skillful cunnilingus and appropriately “depthed” g-spot stimulation. The second reason that a man will consider his financial capacity before even approaching a woman, is because we understand that dating is an investment, and what one starts doing, one will likely be expected to continue doing. Men will weigh the cost of dating against the potential benefit of  #2 above, “willingness to be a whore for us only.” Men will consider the over/under on that proposition by doing a quick S.WO.T analysis on your outfit, skills or lack thereof on the dance floor, the drink or drinks in your hand or in your vicinity, height, weight, assumed age etc. etc. Yeah, men get professorial with it in about all of 248 seconds.

Wonder why a guy won’t come over to you after you have given him the look and that crooked little smile three times? He’s broke… or he’s a punk…  more likely, he’s broke. He budgeted the two drinks he can have at the venue at which you both find yourselves, and he knows that if he comes up and speaks to you there is a better than average chance that you will expect a drink and the way his credit card is set up….

D. Do you mind being out earned by your partner?

  •  No 97%
  • Yes 3%

From this final question, you can safely assume that every man surveyed was born no earlier than 1965. Ask a 50-something or older man this question and the percentage of yes answers rise dramatically. It is generational. Add to the generational dynamic a racial one, and it even further skews the responses.  The fact of the mater is that if you are an African American woman reading this thinking about a particular African American male while reading my opinings then the average woman like you is better educated, and as a result makes more money than that average African American male. For a myriad of reasons, this is—unfortunately still—the case. Most Black men realize this. Having said that, a man will not care. Protect and provide. A man will realize that we provide for our families by providing leadership, stability and love along with money. Provision doesn’t stop with money—it doesn’t start with money. Provision when provided by a man well made, includes all of these other intangibles as well as money. A man well made, is confidant in who he is and his role regardless of what his K-1 or W-2 looks like next to his woman’s. A side benefit, ladies, if you out earn your man, and he is a man well made, he will probably make up for it by being a better than average, father, friend, and lay. If a man can’t put it down on payday as well as you can, ego will mandate that he put it down by licking you to convulsion, and hair pulling and ass smacking, regular “dicking-downings. “

I’m just sayin….

You’re welcome.

B.S. Writer


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