Happy Steak and BJ Day From Me & B.S Writer!

14 Mar

FiletMignonRosemaryButterFifteenSpatulas

From the Mistress:

This was my conversation with B.S. Writer (my co-blogger in crime) this morning.

Me: So today is Steak and B.J. Day! I’m going to post something. Do you have anything to share?

Him: You can bet your deep throat I do!

BWAHAHAHA. This fool!

Anyway, to commemorate this special day I wanted to say to the MEN: HAPPY STEAK AND BJ. May your steaks be slightly pink in the inside and your bj’s be long, wet and fulfilling! Since I have no one in which to spoil on this day, my gift to all of you is to share some gems of knowledge with my lady readers in the hopes that some man out there will benefit from this!

The steak part:

I have to admit that while I am an amazing cook, cooking a steak has always been hit or miss UNTIL I stumbled upon this blog. Let me tell you. I will NEVER go out for steak again! Okay..I’m lying but now that I can make a steakhouse worthy steak I can save my own duckets and only go out for expensive steak when someone else is buying. Ladies, check out this uber helpful blog on how to properly cook a steak. It will change your life, rock your man’s world and make part two of this blog a WHOLE lot easier!

http://www.fifteenspatulas.com/how-to-properly-sear-a-steak/

The BJ part:

So well…we’re all (mostly) grown here right. Without turning this into a WHOLE different kind of blog I am only going to add one small thing here. The key to giving a great BJ: Enthusiasm. You need to #1 Want to do it as much as he wants to receive it. #2 Do it till you get it right. #3 Switch up your technique every couple rotations (tongue). LOL. It really is that simple.

http://youtu.be/bDu3fRDZIfM

icecream

From B.S. Writer:

Happy March 14! What is so special about March 14, you ask? It is INTERNATIONAL STEAK & BJ DAY!  WhoooooHooooo! “No-lotion-and-free-porn” Day. “No-fend-for-yourself-for-dinner” Day.

Today is to men as Sweetest Day is to women (and just so you know ladies Sweetest Day is supposed to be about your appreciation of us… but I digress)  only it isn’t made up by Hallmark to boost card sales during a  historically slow cycle in their business.  No. This is “be-what-a-man-really-wants-if only-once-in-a-while” Day!

Confused by that last description?  That means you’re a lady reading this who is either single or no older than your mid-twenties. Or both. Here’s a present for “you” on “my” day

Men want a porn-star-whore who can cook (only for us) (and maybe with another  porn-star whore… of our choosing only, of course).

Yep, I said it. Cat’s out of the bag.

So if you can roll some weed but can’t season some chicken; if you can turn up at the club on a Tuesday night at 3:30AM but can’t turn on an oven to bake some biscuits; you will continue to be single, sidepiece, homie, friends-with-benefits, material ONLY.

Having said all of that, ladies, we want our steaks medium, and our blow jobs wet loud and kneeling in front of us while we stand legs spread, one fist superman styled on our waists the other alternating from the fork shoving slices of medium temperature, marinated, seasoned and grilled to perfection Porterhouse into our mouths, to grabbing the back of your head shoving our medium temperature marinated seasoned and grilled to perfection (had to continue the metaphor but… yeah… anyway) Porterhouse into yours!

Happy Steak & BJ Day!

P.S. Women with men, who are happy to be in relationships with them, celebrate this day often. Year around.

Sincerely,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous & Mr. B.S. Writer

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