D**K shaming.

15 Jul

**This post will contain a lot of expletives and inappropriate language so if you are easily offended, navigate away from this specific post and join me tomorrow for another edition of Date Chronicles: Anatomy of a Bad First Date** (#yourdatingstory on FB and Twitter)

A couple a weeks ago I had the pleasure of chopping it up (urban for hanging out) with one of my guy friends. This particular friend is new to my social circle so we’re very much in the beginning phases of getting to know each other as people. He’s attractive, intelligent and seems like he has his head on straight. Definitely someone worth getting to know.

We’ve have some interesting debates/conversations about relationships and marriage. There have been times when I thought, maybe I turned him off by being so straight forward about where I was in life. Perhaps I was too honest about what I wanted and expected. I think he even asked me if I thought about the affects my words could have on a potential suitor. I know not all men can deal with a woman that is such a straight shooter. I readily admit I am a lot to handle but I always figured the right man will have no problem grabbing the reigns and taking charge…appropriately. (The thought is always in a woman’s mind that she may scare a good man off. No honey, you will scare off a boy. Not a man.)

Imagine my surprise when we’re hanging out and the SAME guy invites me to spend the night at his house. In his bed. *Pause* Wayment. Holup. I’ve only known you in the flesh for how many hours and you already trying to come up on some pussy? Yet, expressing my desire about marriage and what I want in a mate are too much?

So marriage shaming is what we’re doing these days huh?

Now this is just an example, used in this particular story because it’s recent. But I can recount many conversations I’ve read, heard, or been a part of where men are saying that women who bring up marriage, not even wanting to marry him per say, but just saying that they want to be married, too early in the “getting to know each other process” is a turn off. They express that we should let some time pass before we hit them with that. Allow them to get to know us first. *stare* Mean while they’re looking for a window in the conversation to ask me my favorite position, have I had a threesome, do I like anal and what’s my level of freakiness on a scale from 1-10. o_0 <<< CONFUSED FACE>>>>

So let me get this straight. Me saying that I am marriage minded. That I am willing and ready to commit to a man for good and bad. To share bills, debts, children and house hold chores with. To care for you when you’re sick and hold you down at your lowest moments. To vacation with. Bust down and make love with. To deal with your crazy ass family and quirks and still be there when your teeth have all fallen out and your dick stops getting hard and starts to look more like a soft serve ice cream cone from McDonalds. When your best attempt at foreplay is rubbing the wheelchair wheels against the legs of my walker. THAT is too much to handle. BUT you wanting to stick your dick in a woman you’ve known for all of 5 seconds in real life is much more acceptable?

You don’t know if a woman you JUST met has any venereal diseases, if she cleans her vagina twice a day or once a month. You don’t know if she’s bat shit crazy, on drugs or will sneak out the house in the middle of the night while you sleep with your flat screen, DVD player and your organic loaf of bread. Yet, it’s okay for you to clearly, purposefully and intently attempt to stick your dick inside her but it’s not okay for her to verbalize what she is looking for in life?

Fuck you and fuck that. How about I’m going to start DICK shaming the very next time a man attempts to marriage shame me.

I hear the arguments that are going to be raised already. BUT marriage is a lifelong comment they say. Well so is AIDS, Herpes and Children. Have you not watched Maury????? My point is neither sex NOR marriage should be entered into lightly. Life can be fun, but it’s not a game.

Now I am not saying that a woman should show up on a first date with a wedding dress, tiara and an ordained Officiant waiting in the car just in case there happens to be some awesome first date chemistry. 99% of the people you date aren’t going to be the “one” for you. (Hence the use of the word one. One of my closest girlfriends told me this on her wedding day 11 years ago and I never forgot it.) Hell, I’d say even 80% of the people you meet you wouldn’t even want to date seriously. BUT part of the getting to know each other process means being honest about who you are and what you want. And quite frankly I’m tired of being shamed into thinking there is something wrong with wanting to be someone’s wife.

In all seriousness, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to sex up a person who you are attracted to. Especially if there is mutual interest . But please do not attempt to shroud or cloak your bullshit around the guise that they are moving too fast when you really just want to fuck. Call a spade a spade and deal with the cards you’re dealt like an adult. The worse they’ll say is no and you can move on to a more willing candidate. They’re entitled to their happily ever after dreams the same way you’re entitled to your sexual needs. No shame is necessary.

Exits amidst my own finger snaps,

The Mistress of All Things Fabulous


6 Responses to “D**K shaming.”

  1. India July 15, 2014 at 1:05 pm #

    Excelllent read…Entertaining yet unapologetically true!

  2. Derrick Pryor July 15, 2014 at 1:24 pm #

    Well done! Well done indeed!

  3. thenarcissistwrites July 15, 2014 at 1:37 pm #

    None of those things are big deals. Condoms are available for a reason, and with the exception of AIDS most STDs nowadays are treatable, if not even curable. Same goes for pregnancy. Of course all of those things are a pain in the ass and best avoided, but they’re also not necessarily completely life changing occurrences. And marriage certainly isn’t either – it’s easy as pie to get married, and only slightly more difficult to get a divorce.

    • TheHittList July 15, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      None of those things are big deals? LMAO. Pregnancy isn’t treatable and I could care less how treatable an STD is, I still don’t want it. Different strokes for different folks…I just prefer not to get myself in situations going to be crying to get out of.

      • thenarcissistwrites July 15, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

        Lol. Abortions are not that expensive. I also prefer not to get into situations that are annoying, which is why instead of complaining about how terrible all of these things are, I take tons of steps (both necessary and seemingly unnecessary) to prevent them.

      • TheHittList July 15, 2014 at 1:52 pm #

        Girl!!! Did you really say that?? Yes you did. Omg…..if I didn’t read your blog I’d be horrified, but I know better. So..thanks for commenting! 🙂

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