Side Piece, Jump Off, Rebound…Part I

4 Aug

 

 

side piece

 

So this morning I wrote the following status (see above). For some reason I’ve become obsessed with this new “Side Piece” phenomena. No disrespect to anyone reading this, but there are “women” going around thinking they are WINNING at life because they are a side piece. I use the word women only to indicate the person I’m referring to has a vagina. Maybe it’s my age and maturity, but anyone who willingly uses or allows herself to be used with no regard to consequences is participating in “thotish” behavior and doesn’t deserve to be categorized with those of us who have morals, integrity and self-respect.

Apparently, there is a league of women who took 50 Cent literally when he said, “Have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire”. Doesn’t matter if a man has a wife, girlfriend, live in or whatever…there are women out here selling themselves for $325 car payments, light bill and all you can eat buffets. Girl, do better with your life.

Now, I’m not going to go on a tangent about Side Chicks (because I have another blog planned for that!) but I thought the ensuing conversation was worth sharing. Especially because it seems to strike a chord with my male audience. Woman, take a glimpse into the mind of a man. When you know better, you’ll do better. Understanding your REAL role is a step in the right direction.

Question 1: I think the rebound gets the short end of the stick. What if the intentions of the rebound is genuine?

Answer: Someone is going to be the rebound..but if you ask the right questions you will KNOW it need not be YOU! LOL! If he just broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years yesterday, you swooping in to be the girl of his dreams is unlikely..let that man breathe first..lol

Question #2: Do people really aspire to be the unwilling side piece? I figured that they were just lied to?

Answer: There are some people who do not care about duplicity unfortunately. They subscribe to the don’t ask, don’t tell bylaws of dipdom. Feeling like, “Well I didn’t know..soo” is an acceptable excuse/explanation.

Question #3: Where does a woman fit in if she isn’t interested in marriage (at the moment), she is healing from a previous relationship, and want the companionship of a man on her terms (sex)?

Answer: Casual dating I assume. You can date with the expectation that, neither of us are looking for anything other than company. However, if that is the case you DEFINITELY don’t want the complications of dating someone who is still healing (cuz people who are broken don’t make good choices and definitely not choices with YOUR best interest at heart) or someone who has someone (because drama is never fun).

Question 4: Are there situations where certain women deserve to be in that list of 4? I can’t imagine that ALL women should be or deserve to be wifed up.

Answer: Deserve as per the dictionary means to do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment). So in this situation you are saying that a woman by her words or actions, have deemed herself unworthy of anything more than being a “bottom bitch”? On one hand, yes. If she isn’t respecting herself and doesn’t care then, have at it baby girl. However, you have to look at her and say where is your self-esteem and your dignity? Where is YOUR self-worth, where you are thinking this is all you deserve? Is this all you want for yourself? Maybe it takes a man who is enlightened and empathetic to show care and concern for others when they lack it for themselves. A man on some grown shit shouldn’t even want to be involved with a woman to allow her to put herself in this situation. I know that is a lot to ask of a person. But….a girl can dream.

Rebuttal to Question #4:  I asked because I see so many women who want very little of themselves because of what they are used to and their immediate environment. A “good” man that can show her what she is worth will need to invest time, effort, and possible heartache (if she turns bad on him). So those men will tend to work on less challenging adventures and those women tend to repeat the same mistakes blaming the “no good” men in & out of their lives not realizing she needs to be re – programmed into something great.

Final Response: I don’t think it’s a man’s job to teach a woman her worth. I don’t even know that’s possible. Maybe he can do something that triggers that “need for self-reflection”. But it’s no one’s job to teach me to love myself but me. On the same token, when you see the person for what they are, you don’t take advantage of the situation. Cut the cord and keep it moving. If I saw an armored truck with the door open I might be tempted to go in and steal a bag of money, but knowing it’s not the right thing, I’d probably alert the authorities. I personally, like my good karma.

What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Chime in and let me know where you stand on the “Side Piece” debate!

Love,

The Mistress of All Thing Fabulous

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