When he has a side piece..Part I

5 Aug

After my discussion yesterday, I was prompted to dig a little deeper into the subject of Side Piece & Jump Offs. No, I am still not glorifying the behavior of either party but I have to concede and say there is so much more to be said about 1. What makes a woman decide to play that role and 2. What makes a man stray.

Yesterday, a male friend made the following statement, “I know the blog was written by and about women and that’s a perspective I don’t claim to understand. Just looking at this from a Man’s view”. Touche. I can only give a woman’s perspective and one who is not and would not be a side piece at that (And let me find out you got one and someone is getting cut! LOL! ). BUT what about the males perspective? It needs to be heard. Knowledge is power.

Well, strap yourselves in. I had several gentlemen ANONYMOUSLY respond to 11 questions about WHY they strayed and its going to get messy in here. Raw. Honest. Candid. LADIES, PLEASE PLEASE READ.

Response #1 Introspection & Responsibility

1. What happened during your relationship that made you stray?

Nothing really happened to make me stray. It was a way of life. I’ve always been addicted and attracted to multiple women fulfilling roles in my life. My therapist called it the pie syndrome. I never trusted a woman enough to be my whole pie. I needed women to make up multiple slices to feel whole. The “main” woman would be the biggest slice, but never the whole.

2. Why did you continue to keep your side piece after the first intimate encounter?

It felt good to be wanted by multiple women. Sometimes I figured that other women wanting and complimenting about the same qualities meant they must be right. Their validation meant the world to me (especially about sex).

3. How do you maintain a relationship with a side piece?

I was always honest upfront. Either I was single and didn’t want a relationship (during college), I had a woman and wasn’t looking for a replacement, or I was married and wasn’t looking for competition for my wife. Their agreement to those terms made it easy. Didn’t have to see them all the time, but enough to keep us satisfied.

4. Why didn’t you just leave your Wife/GF for your side piece?

I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted EXTRA. My reasoning wasn’t because I was unhappy. It was because I wanted variety.

5. What does she give you and or do that your wife/gf won’t?

At first it was a release from the norm. Then it became a sexual game to have things done or live out fantasies that my wife/gf wasn’t comfortable with, not willing to do, or not good at.

6. Did you come from a two parent house?

No. Single parent home (mother and two older brothers)

7. Are your parents divorced?

Never married

8. Did your father/mother stray?

Barely knew my father. He was a drunk and not involved.

9. Did you know your fathers/mothers side piece?

No

10. Were there any characteristics or behaviors that made you pick your side piece?

She would be sexy. A communicator. Sexually mature. Sometimes an older woman.

11. Anything else you want to add?

This was a life that I led and not proud of. I no longer see the desire in this behavior. Mainly because I found someone who I trust enough to be my whole pie. Also because I learned from the wrong of my ways and destruction it causes. I didn’t get caught up and have messy situations.

I fessed up to what I was doing and caused my marriage to fail. My actions that led up to hurting her and destroying something I should have taken seriously will haunt me forever. It will make me question my decisions in relationships and question where my boundaries are.

I don’t regret the experiences and joy I received with most of the situations I was in. I regret how they were handled and my openness with the side, but closeness and lying with my significant other. You truly live and learn in life.

And I definitely learned!

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